Posted by BGH
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The man who raised me, taught me right from wrong and beat my butt when I defied him is lying in an intensive care unit with the possibility of not waking up.
I love my father so much. We have our disagreements but we are so much alike I see myself turning into a replica of him as each day passes. I am stubborn... just like he is, I am anal-retentive... just like he is and I am ALWAYS right... just like he is, except when we disagree. He 'used' to win when we were at odds, now I have taken over that role.
I treated my dad as if he would always be around when I was younger, always too busy with friends to 'hang out' and listen to the game, now I can't get enough time. My son looks up to him, my son's friends look up to him and I now more than ever look up to him, understanding all that he imparted in me to make me who I am today.
I can't stop crying and I am scared as hell....
-Song: Forever
-Artist: Dropkick Murphys
-Album: The Meanest Of Times
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3 comments:
BGH,
I'm so sorry you and your dad are having to go through this. Sometimes life throws a curve ball and it really, really sucks.
Know that your friends are thinking about you and your dad.
And if you need a far-away friend, you have my number.
{{{{{{{{{{BGH}}}}}}}}}}
BGH,
I'm not sure I've read your blog before (today I followed a link from Planet Atheism) but seeing your message, I must comment.
It will be two years this June since I lost my dad. It was extremely painful, because he was my best friend. He was 93, had lived a good life, and missed my mother terribly (She'd died two years earlier). He was ready to finish his life, and his body accommodated him by basically shutting down. Mom and I never got along all that well, and I grieved her death in a kind of abstract way. Dad's death cut me like a knife.
Since then I've found solace in my memories of my dad, and accepted his death. You can resolve it in your own mind eventually. But in the meantime, you'll hurt if your dad dies, and be painfully aware that the hurt is just postponed if he recovers.
I wish you and your dad all the best. I hope he lives to die in his own time and more-or-less on his own terms. I send you the kindest thoughts I can muster, and a very big virtual hug.
Thank you both very much.
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